Fi said, Ji said.

Now is the winter of our discontent

2009-02-01T14:30:04Z

I wonder if there is anyone still out there, checking this? January is over. That is something. It has been irrationally cold. It has been dark. A change is coming, ever so slowly. Now there is just the forever of waiting for the thaw. And the dim memory that we have survived this before. We have slipped easily into a home and a routine. It's just that we don't yet feel like we are a good fit for all this. Wiser folk than us say that it takes at least a year to start feeling the fit again with home. We miss Fiji. That is certain. When pressed, it is hard to say what exactly I miss. I tried to answer casually the other day that "everything made sense there". But of course, it didn't. I miss the maddening people, the frustrating politics, the intolerable, humid heat. I miss the naked sensation of being the only one who doesn't get it. I miss moldy bread and moldy paper. I miss leaping from a manic taxi and feeling grateful for my life. I really miss the warm, blue ocean. It was my medium and spiritual home - I could comprehend the omnipotence of God while suspended there. (Stingy jellyfish-like-microorganisms aside.) There is nothing to replace that. Not yet.

I'm here too

2008-12-11T03:44:31Z

I don't really have more to say - I am working. I am a working schmo. (schmow? schmoo? no, I think schmo.) Yes Fiji seems far away, beautiful and hard to imagine at the moment. And snow is beautiful, but there is ever so much of it. And it is nearly Christmas, and how did that happen? Scott does a better job of this. I'll have to try again later

Where We Is

2008-12-01T18:54:54Z

Here's the really practical update for people who like details:

We're living in Winnipeg. We don't have plans to go back to Fiji or to any other overseas posting at the moment. Maybe some day, but we both kind of feel like we'd like to make some kind of difference in Canada for awhile. (Or at least eat breakfast cereal with finding ants in it.)
We're living with my parents, who are very kind and generous and hospitable. And luckily we've found a house of our own so we can get out before we reach that awkward point where the kindness, generosity, and hospitality reach their breaking points. Our new house is in the Wolseley neighbourhood of Winnipeg, not too far from my parents and fairly close to Noah's school.
Noah is going to school. He's in Grade 2 in a Grades 1/2/3 mixed class. He just turned 7 last week and had two parties; one with grown-ups and family, and then on Saturday he had a kids party with cousins and friends from school. We went to the museum to look at the dinosaur display, then played video games and ate pizza and cake.
Nanette has a job. (Her office is also close to our new house.) She's doing communications and policy for ANCR, the All Nations Coordinated Response, which is part of the Aboriginal Child and Family Services system. A lot of people get a slightly horrified look on their face when they hear where she's working, as in "Why would you want to do that to yourself?!?" It's an intense area to be working in, with a lot of struggles and a lot working against it, but Nanette's sense is that it's important work that will go very poorly unless good people give it a shot.
I'm looking for work. I've applied at a few places. Some of them I'm even qualified for. I also applied for a spot in the Winnipeg Fringe Festival, which is a summer theatre festival. Slots are chosen by lottery, so I'll know in a few weeks whether I'm going to be doing a show next summer. To tell you the truth, I'm scared senseless. I registered without really thinking, because if I thought about it I would have come up with all sorts of reasons why I shouldn't do a show for the Fringe Festival. So while part of my brain was going, "Hey, what are you doing over there?" the other part was going, "Oh nothing, never mind, go back to your Sudoku. I'm just doing something on the computer over here and ...SEND!" Yikes. I better get writing.
Upcoming "mission interpretation" gigs: St. James United, Wpg on December 7, the Manitoba Youth Centre on the 9th, Fred Douglas Lodge seniors home on the 11th, Atlantic-Garden City United, Wpg on the 14th, and then, unless I'm mistaken, we get a break until Christmas. Ah, Christmas.

The Fiji Road Show

2008-12-01T18:13:53Z

Here I am, in the cold of December, fondly remembering the warmth of December, in an antipodal place that is somehow becoming less and less real the more I talk about it. We have four more "mission interpretation" gigs booked for this month (two with Nanette, two solo). Since the beginning of October we've been going around to churches talking about Fiji and ECREA and the role of overseas personnel, etc. We've got a spiel (which we change slightly every week to connect with the lectionary passages that are being used in worship, and to keep ourselves from getting too bored). There's something a bit weird about having a spiel. At some point the repetition replaces the reality. "I believe that what I am saying is true, not because I remember it actually happening but because I've said it five times before, so it must be true." Every once in awhile I catch myself thinking, "Is that really how it is, or is that just storytelling?" It's the same with blog entries; events and experiences and complicated ambiguous realities get shaped into something that makes sense, and in the process get filtered, or flattened, or "punched up" for dramatic effect. I wonder about the ethics of that sometimes. based on some of our experiences in Fiji). I think it'll be a nice change of pace. If anyone comes. And if they don't, that'll be a nice change of pace too.]]>

Noah's Game

2008-11-08T17:36:46Z

Noah made this game with an online program. ]]>

This is NOT FIJI!

2008-11-07T20:12:26Z

Yes We Can still type

2008-11-06T05:52:30Z

So last night the United States elected their first African-American president, and even though I'm not American and he's not my president, the world does seem a little bit different. I have no doubt that Barack Obama is really smart and talented and capable, but I think the most important thing about him is his ability to attract people's hopefulness. Something about this election makes it seem like things are possible that weren't possible before. Speaking of change, I guess a lot's changed since our last post. Sorry to everyone who's been following along with our story the last two years that we didn't finish the narrative in a satisfying gestalt kind of way. You can probably safely assume that we made it back to Canada (or that our plane went down over the Pacific and we were stranded on a desert island, threatened by incongruous polar bears and mysterious fog monsters until the viewing public got bored of unresolved plot elements and moved on). But in case you're interested in our return and reintegration into Canadian society, we'lll revive the the blog for awhile. Let's see, where were we? Oh yeah, Fiji. We arrived home on September 1st, a little more than two months ago. The day that we'd put into storage two years ago when we crossed the international dateline was returned to us, allowing us to stay overnight in Vancouver enroute and still back to Winnipeg a few hours before we left Nadi. Lots of friends and family were at the airport to meet us. Our frind Julie held up a sign saying, "I got a new couch while you were gone. (There, now we're all caught up.)" We were still in a bit of a travel fog / culture shock kind of space when we went back to my parents' place for lunch. Nanette complained about having to stop in Hawaii on the way home and being fingerprinted and photographed to get through customs. I really wasn't trying to show her up when I pointed out that this didn't really happen. It was only the American citizens that had to be fingerprinted and photographed, but the combination of empathy, exhaustion and indignation made Nanette think it had happened to her. I travelled to Toronto last week for a Conference and felt a slight surge of patriotism when I saw people hanging out at the back of the plane waiting to use the washroom. On our flight from Fiji that had been an announcement before take-off that American Homeland Security disallowed people from congregating in the aisles near the washrooms. We both looked at each other and asked, "How does Homeland Security get to tell us what to do on an Air Pacific flight from Fiji to Canada??" So when I saw that little crowd waiting to pee at 30.000 feet, I just wanted to sing O Canada. But I digress. So we got back to Canada and moved into the third floor of my parents' two-and-a-half storey house. And that's been our home while we look for jobs and a place to live. Housing prices exploded while we were away, with many houses costing double what they would have when we last bought a house five years ago. Noah has settled into a school close to my parents' place, and Nanette has got a job doing policy and communications for an aboriginal child and family services organization. Nanette and I are doing "mission interpretation" on a regular basis, going around talking about Fiji, ECREA, and the United Church's global partnerships. If you're in or around Winnipeg and want to come hear us talk about our time in Fiji, we'll be at Selkirk United Church this Sunday, Trinity United in Portage la Prairie the week after that, Crescent Fort Rouge in Winnipeg the week after that, Pinawa the week after that, St. James United in Winnipeg the week after that, and a few other places. I'll post the dates sometime when I have my calander handy. Or you could stay at home and read all the archived blog entries from the last two years. There's no music, but on the plus side, you can do it in your underwear. If we get a chance in the next while, we'll post some more about rediscovering Canada, and culture shock, and how I am coping with the impending cold of winter. (Here's a hint: not well.)

Unofficial Handbook gets some press

2008-08-25T19:07:14Z

Our "Unofficial United Church of Canada Handbook" gets mentioned in a Toronto Star article (along with a picture of a really ugly jello salad. Despite the caption, he didn't get the recipe from us!)

Canadians Go Home

2008-08-24T23:43:38Z

Our final article for the ECREA newsletter: It’s the end of August, and we are just finishing our extensive farewells and stepping onto the plane to take us back to Canada. We came two years ago, in 2006, as overseas personnel from the United Church of Canada, on-loan to ECREA as part of the UCC’s partnership with the organization. Our mission was to help where we could, and to learn as much as possible – about ECREA, about Fiji, about the world that we all share, and the ways in which a God with a predisposition for peace, justice, and compassion is active in that world. After a few weeks of wandering around stunned, like people who just got off the boat, we eventually set to work, trying to be helpful and learn at the same time. We helped ECREA protest the SDL government’s plan to raise the Value Added Tax … and learned that people don’t have much experience telling their elected representatives what they want, and elected leaders aren’t used to people actually trying to talk to them. (Kind of raises some questions about democracy, don’t it.) We helped prepare for a peacebuilding course … and learned that, while coups in Fiji might get postponed a few days on account of a rugby game, peacebuilding courses get postponed by months on account of coups. We learned that coups put stress, not just on nations, but on programmes, organizations and individuals as well. We learned that part of “partnership” is letting the partner tell you who you are. In ECREA language we are “volunteers”, but after the Peace Programme (which had been our home-base in ECREA) closed in 2007, it took awhile for the organization to figure out who we were and what we could possibly be good for. We learned the value of being as open as possible. We facilitated ECREA’s strategic planning process, bringing the staff, management and executive forum together to set a vision for the next three years (but secretly it was really just an excuse for us to learn from the various programmes what they do, and why, and how it all fits together. Pretty clever, huh?) And the designing of the Youth Peace and Development Programme was just an elaborate trick to get a bunch of young people to try to teach us why race and ethnicity keep getting used as a source of conflict in Fiji. Helping the director create monitoring and evaluation procedures and organizational policies was Nanette’s way of learning what from her Canadian NGO experience works in Fiji and what doesn’t. And Scott’s work on the SEEP documentary was just an excuse to get Master Sikeli to teach him the history of Fiji… over and over again, in different locations, wearing different shirts, sometimes standing, sometimes sitting, sometimes walking. (Kind of cruel now that we look back at it.) Thank you ECREA for taking so much time to teach and re-teach us the things we needed to know about Fiji, and the values of partnership. It has been an experience we will never forget.

Re-entry - blackout communications

2008-08-24T08:19:48Z

Hey all - we are turning in our modem and holidaying for a few days before we get back to Canada. We are also getting a lot of spam right now, so we will turn off the comments function while we are incommunicado. Hopefully this will shake off some of the crud. We will take comments again in a week or two - and we hope to actually be able to talk to you all shortly!

100 things - 84 - 100!!!!

2008-08-20T01:17:44Z

And none too soon, the list closes. I'd like to thank my fans and supporters... It was a fun exercise to find 100 things to remember - and not too difficult, surprisingly. I think for educational events, I'll just post the list, and see what things people want to talk about. 84. the eternal garbage fire – our house is on a cut-away hill – a bluff – a cliff – a steep embankment – whatever. Down below is where the neighbourhood burns yard waste, cardboard and the occasional television. We plan to never live next to a sporadic garbage fire again, if we can help it. 85. Kings highway – When it is raining, this is the worst “highway” you will ever drive on. Or off of. If the rebuilding of this road is ever complete, that whole side of the island should have a massive economic boom – it is gorgeous. 86. Queen’s highway – and its many buses – We have been up and down the Queen’s highway many times – about a 4 hour bus ride between Nadi and Suva. Some buses are air conditioned, some have movies, some have padding in their seats, some have a limit on how many passengers can be squeezed in. But not all. Every bus ride has had some sense of adventure, and has been at least an hour too long. Only 3 more trips to go. 87. Hibiscus festival – This annual event is marked by beauty pageants, talent shows, rides, food stalls, and a great parade. It is happening now, but we are mostly too preoccupied to venture over. Noah and Tabua are planning to go on the bumper cars tomorrow. 88. Assistant Chen – On our favorite Asian soap opera “Stairway up to Heaven” there is an odd character who is of European descent. He is somewhat mysterious, rarely speaks, but acts as half body guard, half father figure to one of the main characters. It is our “in joke” with Chantelle now for when someone doesn’t want to go alone to a meeting or on an errand – they take along an “Assistant Chen” to play the strong silent type, bad cop, or whatever. Scott and I make excellent assistant Chens. 89. Chantelle – Chantelle has really pulled us through this year – inspired and challenged us. I don’t want to gush or anything, but she is like the wind beneath our wings. 90. Tabua – means whale’s tooth – It is also the name of Noah’s nanny. Tabua has held our house and our lives together. She has explained things that we were too stupid to even know we needed to know. And she has picked up all kinds slack. Now we have to remember how to make beds and wash clothes again. 91. Lutunasobasoba – the man with the big canoe – oral history says that the first Fijians arrived here by a big canoe from Africa (if you count the generations identified it would amount to about 600 years ago.) There isn’t any supporting scientific evidence for this version of history, but it is a very foundational story for Fijians, particularly on Viti Levu, who trace their lineage to the 5 clans in that story. It is so significant that they flat out refuse to hear or discuss any other version of Fiji’s origins. So the archeologists who have evidence of cultures emerging from Asia and the Pacific, dating back 3600 years are having a hard time even getting people to consider their information. Hence the SEP history project (see #78). The Lutunasobasoba story was used aggressively by missionaries as a tool of pacification, and to reinforce the Fijian class structure. 92. Mongeese - What is the plural of mongoose anyway? It is not so very different having “mongai” roaming around the yard then it is having squirrels: They are more shy and reclusive than squirrels. The “mon-guys” also eat all the kinds of creatures I would rather not have in the house (like mice) so they are a bit more appealing than squirrels. And the baby “mongers” are absolutely adorable. They are probably one of those introduced species that has caused havoc upon the unique bird populations, etc. But hey, that’s yesterday’s mistake… 93. Our House on Votua Rd. – Votua is also the name of Wise’s home village in Ba. Noah calls it the double decker house –We live on the bottom floor, and Jone’s family lives above. Noah uses it as a measuring comparison (could a giraffe look in Jone’s windows? Would a T-Rex be taller than both houses together?) When we first arrived, water sprayed out of the kitchen sink, we didn’t know which bugs were allowed inside…we felt disconcerted. Now it is just normal. And home. 94. Mortein – Noah said this should be one of the 100 things – It comes in spray form and “kills bugs dead” we use it when the ants start having ants, and when doing battle with the giant centipedes. It also comes in coil form, and “vape mats” which plug into outlets. It really comes down to how much you want to inhale poisons and how much you want to risk dengue fever. We have recognized that there is a point where we start to get “coil induced paranoia” and we need to take a break from the gas cloud. Don’t judge! We also live next to a garbage fire and eat McDonalds. Who wants to live forever? 95. Milk – UHT ultra heat treated – at least it’s not powdered. There isn’t really much by way of fresh milk. The beauty is that we can buy it by the case and it can be stored in the cupboard. It makes me wonder why it hasn’t caught on throughout the world. 96. People’s Council for Building a Better Fiji (PCBBF) – There is an ongoing process, in tandem, but somewhat independent of the independent government to develop a charter which expresses the mandate of the people of Fiji for any future elected government. The draft document was just released last week. The text itself is noble and I think expresses the kind of world the ordinary people do want to live in – the problem is whether the process that brought it into being was truly “of the people” and whether it can really be brought into effect when the government who called for it was an illegal one. And the supporters then say, “but how else can we get the real needs and hopes of the ordinary people on the table when the power and control have prevented real people’s participation for generations?” and it goes back and forth like this interminably. I am so disillusioned about democracy and about not-democracy. 97. Water cuts – they’re baaaack…. Its been dry weather for a few weeks, which allegedly is the source of shortages and cuts. Of course, too much water is also a problem. And if not that, then breakdowns of aging equipment and infrastructure. So we have had limited water for a couple of weeks. And gosh, I need to do a lot more thinking about water when I get back to Canada (right after I have a long, hot shower!) 98. Mokos – we don’t even know if that is what they are really called! OK, I just checked with Chantelle and it is correct – the little newts that scamper across our ceilings chasing moths and mosquitos and such. We started out by naming them (skippy, zippy, pippy, etc.) Now we are a bit less engaged with them, but still quite fond. 99. being “The Canadians” – That is the short hand for us – the Canadians. It is a category of being that we have been pleased to occupy for a few years. It was one of the signs that we had a place in the organization (“the Canadians can….” And “What if the Canadians…”) It is also an indication of our fairly effective teamwork, that people didn’t bother themselves overly with specifying which of us was designated. If something was thrown our way, we could divvy it up between us. 100. Isa Lei – this is the traditional farewell song of Fiji. We have heard it several times at resorts, but heard it sung by people we love for the first time this week. Its different that way. That’s 100! Yay!

Private Screening of "Timeline"

2008-08-19T11:11:33Z

It's done! (mostly) The disc finally came out of the computer at 4:00, and we screened it for the staff and executive forum of ECREA at 5:30. My plan was to have it completed at the end of July, which would give me a few weeks to do any fine-tuning (not to mention time to pack and think about leaving Fiji), so it's been a bit of a nail-biting, trying to get this beast finished. But it's finally done. 3200 years of Fiji history compressed into 90 minutes, mostly in the Fijian language, featuring the greatest trouper of all time, Master Sikeli, who did everything we asked him to, including walking uphill for five minutes while talking about the 2000 coup. My hands make a cameo appearance as the hands of Sir Arthur Gordon, governor of Fiji. I think the response to the video was good, and people are thinking about ways this documentary can be used - in communities, in schools, etc. It also made us realize that there's a whole thing about the role of Christianity and the church in Fiji, as civilizing force, as a source of oppression, and as a maintainer of the status quo. But that's another movie. Maybe they'll bring me back for the sequel.

Almost there! 78-83 of my 100 things

2008-08-19T03:05:38Z

Tomorrow is our last day of work, and Noah's last day of school. And the exclusive screening of Scott's video is tonight - in 3 hours actually - so forgive me if I proclaim "the end is nigh!" You don't have to stock up on canned goods or anything. Just go wait at the airport. 78. The History Project – Scott’s video history of Fiji, from the biased, populist perspective of Chantelle and Sikeli and the Social Empowerment Programme. Making a 2 hour movie entirely in Fijian may seem like a fool-hardy venture (Scott insists it was my idea.) but all evidence is that it is going to be pretty damned cool. The SEP programme teaches history as one of the primary tools for analysis of the issues and circumstances of the indigenous population. So many “facts” of history in Fiji are unknown, or taught with a slant that keeps people guilty and passive. SEP teaches history in order to help people see how they have got to where they are today, and perhaps to discover some of the strengths and gifts of their culture that have been dismissed or suppressed. The video is meant to take the work even further. And it is “finished” today! Yay! And one whole day before we finished work at ECREA! 79. Social Empowerment Programme – SEP is ECREA’s programme that works on social and economic empowerment with rural indigenous Fijians. The program model is not about establishing development projects, but about addressing the impacts of colonialism, challenging the obstacles, and getting communities to a place where they can act for their own interests. Rural indigenous mataqalis own much of Fiji’s land, but the asset is unrealized. Communities protect their traditional way of life (which is good) but don’t have roads, decent health care, etc. (which is not good). From my perspective, this is some of the most complicated and interesting work that ECREA does. It is also the quietest, hardest to explain, and potentially the most revolutionary work. 80. Faith and Society Programme – FSP is Sister Vito and Adi – the dynamics duo. They have the fun job of trying to get conservative nationalist churches and fundamentalist conservative churches, and charity-oriented churches, and small, colonial churches and all the other self-absorbed churches to engage with social justice. And one another. And people of other faiths. It’s not impossible. Just impossible so far. 81. Economic Justice Programme – EJP is primarily engaged with squatter communities which are a huge and growing phenomenon in Fiji. Semiti is the coordinator – a man of courage and passion – also a wicked Meke dancer on the side. EJP is front line advocacy, social analysis training, and just launching into development projects which will likely change the face of their work substantially. Their pride and joy is the People’s Community Network – a fledgling NGO that they helped to establish, that unites 45 squatter settlements in a common interest in land tenure, housing, and community development. 82. The programme formerly known as peace – When we arrived, we were primarily placed with the Peace Programme. Koila and Sharon were our bedrock for the first months. They departed ECREA and we stayed. And we were forced to reinvent ourselves, and the programme. Which we did. But we had a great time with Koila, Sharon, Ilana, Paulo, Vosita, Adivasu, Henry, Elizabeth, Damiano, Sashi and Taraivosa. 83. The Brains Trust, the Youth Peace and Development Programme The Youth Reference Group and the ridiculously awesome research project – (This is like 10 great things to remember, all rolled into one, but I am starting to run out of space here…)The happiest times of our work at ECREA were when we began developing YPDP with Chantelle - She dubbed us the brains trust. And it stuck. It is probably even buried in the documentation somewhere and will float up to the surface to puzzle some program review consultant years from now. The result of our fussing and feuding and fomenting was YPDP with a silent R (for racism) We had think tanks, consultations, a youth forum, a curriculum test, and just a hell of a lot of fun trying to find a creative, effective approach to supporting youth as leaders and inter-cultural peace-builders. The programme is now in the hands of Waisale, Aman, Sima, Losana, Nicollete, Herbert, Peter, Bulu, Neelta, Rosie and Onoria – The greatest people you would ever care to meet. They have hired and are working along side 2 researchers on their first project – To explore how youth understand and respond to conflict in Fiji. They have learned a lot, and are already planning their next research, which they intend to do with less help from academics and more of their own ideas. Also they are preparing to deliver a training program – an intensive of 8 weeks spread throughout the year. And they are figuring out how to support and nurture activism among youth. I know they don’t need us, but I just want to hang around and watch them rock their world.

farewell yagona ceremony

2008-08-16T20:40:04Z

We are done with farewells. There are 3 more days of work left, and then we head to Nadi to begin our brief holiday with Nathan and Leanne. We ate Chinese food for 6 meals last week - not counting left-overs. This photo is of our formal ECREA farewell, where we ate lovo (traditional meal baked underground) and drank either grog or champagne - or both (eww). Now to launch that damned video, hand off the monitoring and evaluation master files, and clean out our desks!

Moce YPDP

2008-08-12T21:12:00Z

(I tried to post this entry last night, but the internet connection went down just as I was doing it, so here goes again.) The week(s) of goodbyes continues. Last week we went for lunch with the admin gang at ECREA, and then dinner with Chantelle, which was lovely because it gave us the chance to say how much we appreciate her and our time with ECREA in Fiji. Tuesday was the time for the people involved with the Youth Peace and Development Programme to say 'moce" (goodbye) to us. The youth reference group are about as cool and thoughtful a group of young people as you're likely to ever meet, and Wise is a good friend. I was only occasionally conscious of the fact that I should be editing. It was also International Youth Day, so the reference group took time to acknowledge the day by committing themselves and their values as youth to the cause of peace of Fiji. Wednesday will be lunch with the Economic Justice gang, and then Friday will be a farewell from the whole organization. ... And then next week, got willing and the computer don't crash, we'll be launching the dvd of the history documentary. And then I can sleep. And pack. (Perhaps simultaneously.)